unFriended All-Stars is back and we (I) return with a profile that makes me want to vomit. She is just that adorable! Many of us know that guy or girl who is such an awesome person: they volunteer, smile a lot with their friends, are in a committed long-term relationship, and love grandma. Many of us heathens hate that person just as much as we admire them. This week’s UFAS is one of those disgustingly admirable individuals. Nicole Montes: a fall from Grace is necessary, if Grace is my Friends list…or a cliff.

Stretching? Yoga? The Kama Sutra calls this one the Folded Deck Chair.

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Any college girl’s online dating profile says, “I love movies.” Well this week’s addition to the unFriended All-Stars really loves movies. Or more accurately, she loves film (people I don’t love? the ones that correct you with ‘film’ when you say ‘movies’). This Tischie is all about being an individual and independent of the mainstream media outlets. She appreciates projects with meaning and a message (but without cool explosions or Justin Bieber). I would not be surprised if she also dug coffee shops and guys with tight pants and thin 1970s mustaches. If you want to be an individual, get a shitty short hair cut and wear a bunch of wrist bands like the emo kids do it. This week, Morgan Block joins the cast and crew of the UFAS!

“Yea man, you know, it symbolizes protecting education from the downpour of ignorance.” —- the way this picture would be described in an Indie coffee shop with eco-friendly cups and a Tisch graduate barista.

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I want to wish this week’s UFAS a happy birthday! Her present? Not having to see my hilarious tweets flooding her NewsFeed anymore! Hope your birthday was a great one and I hope you enjoy your newfound freedom from my socially mediated life.

Lauren battles Plan B with a Rambo-style bandolier of cheap NYC condoms.

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He can ring you up. He can look for a different size. He can gift wrap it for you. Chase Pearson does it all. He also managed to become this week’s unFriended All-Star!

The only use I had left for Chase was to get him to introduce me to Captain Planet (he’s our hero!).

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Two weeks ago, I used all of my frat boy jokes when I unFriended Jee Choi. Luckily, this week’s UFAS is not your typical fraternity brother, so I will not have to come up with more ways to insult Greek life. No, Jeremy Rothschild has other traits that qualified him as the next near-stranger to be cast out of Paradise (I like to think of my Friends list as a 5-star hotel in Miami).

If Jeremy ran for public office, this would be the ‘sexuality scandal’ picture.

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You’re next unFriended All-Star is a hell of a guy and the life of the party…so it almost (it doesn’t, but almost does) pain me to put this falling out Facebook friendship to death. Adam Towle: you are artificially useless to me.

Ben Stiller is making a sequel to Simple Jack, Simple Adam.

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There have been great MJ’s in this world: Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson, Mary Jane from Spiderman. Our newest unFriended All-Star not only missed being on the list of great MJ’s but has failed to remain on my list of Facebook friends. MJ Weintraub, you are out!

Although I fully support Gyffindor and Quidditch fans, I cannot support this Harry Potter extra

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I’m Billy. And I have too many friends.

Facebook has become a vital part of everyday social interaction, self-promotion, and crowdsourcing. The social networking giant presents users with the ability to make connections with long lost acquaintances, check on an upcoming first date, or see what your teacher’s assistant does when she’s not grading your papers.

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